How to make your champ look weak, in one easy step.

OR, how I've not learned to stop worrying and love the booking.

It's been awhile since I've eased out of my recliner and written a BLOG, but truthfully, I've been to bitter to even come here and be cranky. I think now it's time to get things off my chest.

Since the Rock announced a few months back that he was going to challenge for the World Title at Royal Rumble, we've all known that whomever he faced was going to lose so the Rock could be the champ and the build to Wrestlemania would put more asses in the seats. Sales are the name of the game. Most of us have known that no matter the Rock beat to get the title at Royal Rumble, it would be John Cena he'd face at Wrestlemania so John can get his win over Rock and once again become the Champ. It's been a long year long build with Cena losing most of his big matches promising that 2013 would be different. He'll be the Champ and once again shoved down our throats. We've known it was coming, we've dreaded it, but there was nothing we could have done about it.

In one fell swoop, the WWE took away all the prestige that they loved to say Punk returned to the World Title. They let a returning, part time(that's being generous) wrestler pin their champion after a lame, 90's finisher, like the People's Elbow. Not even an elbow given to a match weary opponent, but an elbow given after being put through a table to a relatively fresher opponent. So for all of Punk's braggadocios claims (Your arms aren't long enough to box with God), he was made to drop the title like a curtain jerker or even worse a transitional champion. There were so many better ways to do it.

The decision to keep the title on CM Punk for almost a year surprised a lot of us. Starting out with winning the title as a Face, then gradually going heel, yet still holding the title stunned most of us. Punk not headlining PPV's added to the heel turn and Punk's quest for respect. We griped about a lot of it, but looking back it was well done, if not handled entirely perfect. The sudden need for the heel punk to have help in winning matches bothered me a lot. What was the purpose? Was their a need to weaken the title reign of the Champ to do the usually cowardly heel booking? How different would things have been had Cena not been injured and needed to be replaced by Ryback (Another bad booking ruined character, but that is another BLOG)? How different would things have been had Punk not needed knee surgery?

I would have booked Punk reign leading up to the end a bit different. Who am I to question WWE's booking? I"m nobody really. I've be watching wrestling since I was six or seven and I'm in my forties now. I've helped book and write for a few online efeds, with others and on my own. I did that for five or six years. So I know a little bit about the shit I'm shoveling.

I would have had Punk defeat Ryback the second time around by having Punk win the match with an underhanded tactic; leg hold by Paul E., foreign object, something. That only after a good strong match without the normal heel coward stuff. It would have made Ryback still look strong, and showed that while Punk can hold his own, sometimes a little help is needed. Even though I marked out for the appearance of the SHIELD. It made Punk look weak to have them win the match for him. This was also the beginning of Punk not being able to win a single match without the SHIELD's appearance.

The handling of the Royal Rumble match was poorly done. I would have had the Rock lose to CM Punk, without the help of the SHIELD, OR Brad Maddox, OR Paul Heyman. The ref would have sent Heyman to the back after one to many climb ups on the ring apron to distract. Then after pulling everything out of his arsenal, proving that indeed he was the Best in the World, Punk, Rock and referee would all be down. Brock Lesnar would come in F5 Rocky and leave. Punk would recover in time for a new ref to come sliding in and count the pin with Punk's arm draped over the Rock's chest. Ending with Heyman coming out, clapping with the evil grin, grabbing the belt and helping a worn out Punk to the back. You know if a part-time Jerricho is big enough to put over talent on his return, Rock could do the same.

This would leave you three outs.

Number One: After his loss the Rock would beg to get another chance at CM Punk at Elimination Chamber. Vickie would give in to Rock, not by giving him a rematch, but by putting him in the Elimination Chamber. Rock could get the win in that match, because it would be easier to hide his limitations in the ring now. Then you could have your Rock vs Cena II that no one really wants to see. Ending that match with Lesnar costing Rock the title yet again at Mania. Setting up Rock/Lesnar for the next Mania. With a loss at Elimination Chamber Punk's still counting his days as Champion doesn't seem quite as whiny as it does after the Rumble. He could then lead back into his quest for respect. Cue Taker. Taker/Punk Wrestlemania. Punk could make a worn down and nearly out Taker look good.

Number Two: After his loss at Rumble, Rock would come to the ring, a bad promo about strudels, asses, donkey piss, boots, a little lame namecalling, and pie would follow and Lesnar would be called out. Down to the ring he would come Heyman in tow. Heyman would cut a decent promo, Lesnar and Rock wouldn't, Heyman would distract Rock, Lesnar would F5 him again. Hey look Rock/Lesnar for Wrestlemania. No Rock/Cena II, no Lesnar/HHH II, you know matches that the public are really dying for. Any match Rock is in will drawn asses to seats. I think Lesnar/Rock would draw a few more asses, than Rock/Cena II. With Rock facing Lesnar, that would lead to Cena vs Punk. Knowing Cena would win after his declaration that 2013 would be his year, but Punk would win casting doubt on Cena's comeback. Then Cena can move his way back up the ladder throughout the year eventually winning the title, not necessarily from Punk. So that next year's Mania would be Cena/Rock II for the Championship, with Cena winning, barely because that's the only way Rock's ego will allow.

Number Three: If Taker is unable to go for a Mania match. After the Rumble match Punk would be upset that Lesnar helped him win the match. After confronting Heyman, he would get the normal "Punk, I knew nothing about that. I didn't even know he was in the building." Gradually this would lead to Punk doubting Heyman's faith in him. He would find out about Heyman paying Maddox to help him win that first Ryback match. Punk would assume that since the SHIELD were attacking other people besides those in Punk's way, that they were indeed acting on their own. He would find out that indeed Heyman was behind the SHIELD. This would lead to Punk slapping down Heyman in the ring. A SHIELD attack later, followed by a Lesnar F5. This would set up Lesnar/Punk for Wrestlemania after Punk drops the title to Rock in the Elimination Chamber, not taking the pin of course. Punk could do this feud with Lesnar and still remain heel.

That's how I would have done it. How about you? What would be your book?

I'm going back to my recliner.

Throwback Thursday: Magnum TA

"I coulda been a contenda."

The immortal words of Marlon Brando from On the Waterfront, paraphrased a little could sum up the career of Terry Allen. In 1977 Terry Allen began his wrestling career for the NWA in their Florida and Pacific Northwest territories, before changing his name to Magnum TA (due to his passing resemblance to Tom Selleck) and moving on to the Mid-South Area. He won a few titles, mostly tag team titles, before signing with Jim Crocket Promotions in 1985 and his career taking off.

First feuding with a freshly heeled Wahoo McDaniels, then belly to belly suplexing Kamala, then feuding with Ric Flair and the Four Horsemen he would go one to lose the United States Heavyweight title to Tully Blanchard only to regain it in a still talked about "I Quit" match at Starcade. From there is was on to his notorious feud with Nikita Koloff which culminated in the famous best of seven series which ended with Nikita winning the US Title. Magnum then was starting a feud with Ric Flair that would have ending with Magnum winning the NWA World Title, if not for the car accident that ended his career.

With a relatively short time in the big spotlight of professional wrestling Magnum TA is the question that all old-timers like myself always ask; What if Magnum didn't have that car crash? Terry Allen had it all. He was loved by the women at ringside as well as the men. He could move in the ring, he had size and grace. He had charisma. He could talk, by far not the best, but he was up near the top. Another year or two under his belt and he would have lost the hesitation that he sometimes had. A few months into the big time and he was put over by the veteran McDaniel, shown rarely seen in ring strength with a belly to belly on the massive Kamala, stood toe to toe with Ric Flair, and side by side with Dusty Rhodes. He was a star on the rise. His feuds with Blanchard, Nikita and Flair are still talked about.

I was a strange child. I cheered Flair and his Horsemen against Dusty Rhodes through most of their feud, until Magnum showed up. Magnum had Flair's coolness without the expensive suits and limousines. He showed up on a Harley, leather jacket, he was a different kind of cool.

I remember his feud with Flair when Flair gave him a $20,000 suit so that he could dress like a US Champ should. Magnum thanked him then proceeded to rip the suit to shreds. Flair was livid in a way that only Flair can be. I remember the day wrestling started with talk of Magnum's car crash. I was shocked and saddened. Now I just wonder what could have been?

"I coulda been World Champ, I coulda been somebody!"

Redheaded Step Child does good

You know back in my day, you know when there wasn't a Pay Per View event every four weeks or so the big two organizations only had four PPV's a year, with a scattering of specials here and there. They say that if you don't learn from the past you are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over. Well, I say, sometimes you can copy from the past and make your organization all the better for it.

TNA has announced that they will revert back to the Four Big Pay Per View schedule of yesteryear. Much like WCW used to do with their Clash of the Champion specials, TNA will have special Pay Per Views through out the year. These shows will be themed, pre-recorded and shown on Friday's I believe.

BRILLIANT!

Why can't Greedy McMahon learn from this? Billionaire's never have enough money I guess. I'm sure that TNA is aware that spoilers will be released before their themed PPV's ever hit the airwaves, but in the grand scheme of things the readers of spoilers is small compared the ammount of wrestling fans there are out there. The Marks number far greater than the Smarks.

Now we will have at least three months to set up storylines for the Big Four Pay Per Views. How awesome is that? The days of rushed storylines in TNA should be over. They can slow down a little bit and slow burn some feuds. They have the chance to make the matches at the Big Four seem all that more important. After a few months of oneupmanship this should provide for better weekly episodes, better matches, more quality matches on Impact.

Another bright side in this whole affair, themed Pay Per Views, like the already announed Joker's Wild Tag Team and X-Division. Some will claim, "Well they had that already with Destination X." While that is true, Destination X was also forced to have storyline matches in them as well. With Themed specials there is a better chance of showcasing certain aspects of their roster and introducing those aspects to new fans, hopefully broadening their fanbase.

Another brightside is cost and product quality. The recorded shows should bring down costs for the events a little. Plus, recorded shows will help get rid of the surprised of live TV. They will have the chance to fix flubbed promos, botches in matches, endings that don't quite work out. If done right, this could be a big thing for TNA.

This all sounds well and good, but it's will take a year or so with things run this way to see if it pays off. This Cranky Ol' Blogger surely hopes that it does. I hope it will allow TNA to move further up the food chain that is Pro Wrestling. Everything is better with Competition.

Throwback Thursday: The Mighty Igor

Back when I was a wee little lad, in between my career as referee (ie Commercial break) for my wrestling Uncle's Robert (Blackjack Mulligan) and James (Wahoo MacDaniel), we watched Mid-Atlantic Wrestling like a religion every Saturday morning at 10 am. Being six or seven at the time I was enthralled by the rasslers as the tossed each other around the ring. The main heroes always won, the main villains always lost. It was back in the days of yesteryear where name wrestlers didn't face each other except for in the arena where you paid to go see them. Occasionally they may scuffle on TV, or someone would get run out of the ring now and then, but the Arena's were where the big action happened.

My favorite wrestler was The Mighty Igor, World's Strongest Wrestler. He came across in interviews as a big buffoon with his huge smile, twinkling eyes, and overzealous laughter. I used to laugh myself near to tears watching as he tried to get the interviewer to take a bite of the kielbasa he always carried with him, he even used to try and get the fans at ringside to take a bite. Sounds a little nasty in this day and age, but back then it was high hilarity in Mid-Atlantic Pro Wrestling.

He won a few titles in the mid to late 60's, the main one being the AWA World Heavyweight Title from Mad Dog Vachon. Although he wrestled into the late 80's I didn't see him anymore after he left Mid-Atlantic. He always sticks in my mind, because he was my first favorite wrestler.

Who's to Blame for the Rock not impressing.......

Sitting in my rocking chair last night, with a glass of Geritol in one hand and my remote in the other, I did something I rarely do now days. I watched an episode of Raw completely. Honestly, my curiosity was piqued about the rumored "Big Ending" that would have everyone talking. I wondered what could it be and truthfully if it would manage to do as the rumors said or would it be, like normal with WWE the last few years, a let down.

When CM Punk walked out with the title still and there being so much time left in the show, I was wondering what the big finale would be, then I heard that Punk was coming back out. When Punk started going into his tirade my face was reminiscent of the same one I had when Punk sat Indian style at the top of the entrance ramp. I loved that he called the fans out for being lemmings, for letting the "faces" of the company, his included, lead them all around like stupid children. He was right; they do, he does.

Then of course that led to the Great One coming out to speak his peace. Rife with cock and doody jokes, lame insults and childish name calling. Is the Rock's lameness something new? OR has that era passed by? Where once we laughed and cajoled along with Rock, now we roll out eyes and wait for him to Rock Bottom someone and leave the ring. Is CM Punk that good of a promo man, that he just makes the Rock look silly by comparison? (Much like he did to Kevin Nash some months back, where Nash looked like a slack jawed buffoon unable to respond with nothing more than what was pretty much a "Oh yeah, you are.") Or better yet is it that after being forced fed John Cena's cock and doody jokes for so long that it has made us realize that the Rock really wasn't all that great to begin with. The days of rivalries are long gone. There are no more feuds based on words slung, and clandestine assaults. Now feuds are based on ships passing in the night, or the next meal to the John Cena super hero machine.

There are very few people on the current roster who can promo with the strength that CM Punk has. Is it because they just aren't that good? I doubt that's the reason. More likely it's because very few of them have the "stroke" to come out and say half of what he does. If anyone else came out and questioned Little Jimmy getting more air time then Tyson Kidd or questioned Daniel Bryan being turned into a joke instead of the submission and mat master that he is, they would lose their much coveted air time.

We've lost something in our modern wrestling era of almost nightly wrestling and monthly-ish Pay Per Views. We've lost the thrill of the fight. We've lost the slow burn for fueds. We've lost the battle of words leading up to the big fight blow off. Looking at the roster now, I only see a handful of either group of wrestling talents that will have remembered promos like Jake "The Snake", Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, Michael Hayes, Roddy Piper, Ted DiBiase,Jim Cornette, Paul E., Mick Foley, Terry Funk, and I could go on and on. It makes me sad to think that my kids won't learn to love the "Sport" of professional wrestling, the gist, the jive. They will just know the rapid feuds and their fast payoffs. Then again, we live in a society of short attention spans and MTV style editing. Should I really expect any different? My Rasslin' is long dead, replaced by the entertainers of the squared circle.